Astral Projection

Astral Projection

“I will astral project tonight.” I take a deep breath. “ I will astral project tonight.” I repeated this again and again as I laid in my bed.

I had incense burning and “Dark Side of the Moon” playing in the background. The sounds travelled across the room and into the stereocilia in my ears. It left me with millions of tingly sensations banging on my eardrum. Another drummer banging on his tabla simaltaneously induced meditative thoughts into my brain. My toes began to extend far out and released a burst of energy extending past the tips of my fingertips. I could now begin to feel myself getting lighter and lighter as I felt my astral self leave my physical body. I began to travel vertical, towards the stars! Higher and higher I went, air getting thinner and thinner, and myself getting stronger and stronger. 300 miles above the sky, I opened my eyes.

I blinked and was presented with a display of light shows. It was the reflection of the sun beaming off one of Hubble’s panels. “This is spectacular!” I said to myself, “ Has he ever dreamt of swimming through the vacuum of space besides the world’s binoculars? He has dreamt but I am living his dream. This world is nothing but a big blue grape and I fancy more for wine.”

Quickly I felt myself leave Earth’s gravity and extend further out into space. My acceleration increased as my heart continued to beat faster and faster. My palms were like grease and my forehead was a cascade of lakes; for the first time I experienced absolute, utter fear. And just like the Enterprise boosting into hyperspace, I began to see the shift of light distort like light traveling along the rim of a black hole.

Within a fraction of realization, I regained my normal speed. What spun in front of me then was astonishing. It had majestic rings and a belt of gas spinning faster than the rest. Its colors were like a pinwheel of red, spiraling around and around sucking in rivers of orange. I was the Voyager now, and all information flows directly through me. “There is no entropy, Nothing is ever lost.” I remember saying to myself.

The gas giant spun with a velocity so hard that it caught me and pulled me into its orbit. Any normal, civilized human-being would have been terrified, but I was ready to embrace death. “We’re all living in a dream,” I remember thinking, “ So I guess all I can do now is pray I wake up in time.”

I then descended deeper and deeper into the planets threshold. Clouds of dirty red reigned the sky. “Catastrophe is near, “ I thought. Thank God I was wrong though. I was pulled back out of orbit when a tidal force of wind crashed down on me and continued to throw me back into space. I was then traveling away from Jupiter and back towards the Sun.

At a distance the Sun looked like a dim candle, but as I drew nearer, the small dim light turned into a festival of lights. Flares were going off like Chinese New-Year. Then out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something. It was another reflection only this time it wasn’t Hubbles’. I quickly turned my body around and there in front of me was a flying saucer. Before I could make out any of its details, I was blinded by a series of bright lights. I woke up inside the aluminum can strapped down to a bed. IV lines branched out of my body and bags dripped bitter solutions into my vessels. I peered up and there were 6 disk-like eyes peering down at me. One of them took his long, slender finger and pressed it onto the center of my forehead. Me made me understand.

“It’ll all be fine. Just breath.”

A white light then appeared and before I could ingest what was just told to me, I was back in my own bed benieth my warm comforts. I inhaled and took a long breath.

“What was it that he had said?”

I scrambled around my desk drawer looking for a pen. There were condoms and loose packets of rolling papers, but no pen.

“Oh well, I’m sure it wasn’t that important.”

I rolled onto my side and smothered my body in blankets. Cha’Chings of “Money” played in the background as zzzs shrouded my head and sheep jumped across my peripheral.

“I will astral project tonight. I will astral project tonight.” I repeat this repeatedly to remember what was told to me. “I will astral project tonight...”